The Cop, The Reporter, and The Judge
A cop, a reporter, and a judge were all in a poker club one night…
Sounds like the start to a good joke, doesn’t it? Well, in a way, it is kind of funny, but it can also be quite serious as well
An underground club recently was raided by police and naturally, a reporter for the local newspaper was there to record the event. In the past, these raids would involve SWAT teams busting in, fully armed, dressed for war in riot helmets and kevlar vests, pointing semi automatic firearms at all the patrons. What reporter in his right mind wouldn’t drool with ambition at the very thought of this turning into a bloody battle? Although I don’t know the circumstances of this particular raid, I have heard from patrons involved in such a bust going on, and its enough to scare the hell out of any person.
No shots were fired (thankfully), and no one was involved in any alteration of any kind, so I can only imagine the reporter was a little bit disappointed. Still, his job is to sell papers (or ad time for television) and he has to come up with a way to spice up his story for the next edition. He interviews the cops involved and gets the down and dirty of these illegal gaming houses as they are known in legal circles. The undercover cop is more than willing to give him some information…after all, HIS job is to uphold and enforce the law, and he would much rather not have to risk his life in doing it I’m sure. So he wants the reporter to put together a story line that will make his job easier, and the reporter wants to spice it up enough to sell more papers and make a name for himself. So based on that, both like to exaggerate a little bit. Here are some prime quotes from the article in the London Free Press (you can find the actual article here http://lfpress.ca/newsstand/News/Local/2009/06/19/9849776-sun.html
“Often sanctioned by outlaw bikers or organized crime, the illegal gambling rakes in big money, and create big victims”
Organized crime? Outlaw bikers? Okay, I’m sure there are to some extent, but I’ve been to a few of these underground clubs in my poker career and not once have I seen any kind of ganster related paraphanial to suggest it was owned and/or operated by these kinds of organizations. I’m not saying none of them are, but I’m sure outlaw bikers and organized crime figures put gaming houses very low on their list of profitable businesses only because they are so hard to hide from law enforcement, and with the recent boom in poker the past few years, they don’t want the added attention. It would be -EV for them in poker terminology.
“A lot of our tips come in from upset family members. They are absolutely crying, begging us to do something. “
Most people I know that play poker are not degenerates, nor have a ‘gambling problem’. What they MIGHT have though are marital issues. Of all the players I have come to know, not a single one of them have spouses or family that think they have an addiction. I’m sure there are however, and to tell you the truth, I kind of doubt their spouses would call police to complain and jeopardize their marriage on a poker game. Some might call it intervention, but I’m more of the line of thought that if anything, its just a pissed off spouse who wants to get at their partner for a reason NOT related to poker. Hell, most couples I know, both play poker together!
“The poker dens often draw loan sharks — sometimes right at the table — only too happy to lend willing suckers more money to play”
Okay, I’ll concede on this one. Where there is money, there will be that one person looking to profit from another’s misfortune. But again, most clubs have SHEET for their regulars. Basically, the club offers an advance to their regular players, and expect to be repaid for it, often times with no additional charges like interest. The deal is that the player repays from winnings or the next time they play, or will not be permitted to play again until their Sheet is cleared. So basically, a loan shark is not going to find a lot of potential business in this arena if the club is offering to support the regulars for zero interest. However, since it is the club’s discretion, they ( loan sharks) can hover for the real bad players that are looking for that one big score but rely on luck to do it, but even then, the odds of the loan shark getting paid back make it a -EV choice as well for them. I’m sure most loan sharks would rather get their money back, plus interest, than break someone’s legs.
“an operator takes a $30 rake out of each hand played. A cunning operator can keep the hands moving so quickly he’ll get 20 to 40 of them done in an hour. “
Anyone playing a $30 rake is out of his mind and DESERVES to get ripped off! Of course, I’m talking more lower limit games, and yes, I can see a $30 rake for higher limit games, but those guys can afford it for the most part. And I don’t know of a single dealer that can consistently deal 40 hands an hour. That’s like 40 seconds a hand!!! Takes more time than that to shuffle the deck, let alone deal and have all players act. The POTENTIAL here is $1200 per hour, yes, but it would NEVER be realized. First of all, they would have to rake EVERY pot, even when the blinds get chopped, at $30, and I doubt very much ANY player would accept that! A club would be out of business in less than a week if that were the case. Again very -EV
“charged with being found in a common gaming house. The charge carries a maximum sentence of six months or a $2,000 fine. “
Yes, that’s right. According to the criminal code, you can be sentenced to six months or $2000 fine. You CAN be!! I have yet to hear of any patron found in such an establishment to be fined more than 20 hours community service at the most. Why? Because even the JUDGES don’t think its a serious enough crime to incarcerate an individual, not when muggers, rapists, and murderers are already filling up prisons to the extent that they can’t hold any more of them. Even the organizers of these clubs get minimal fines and sentencing, and are often up and running again in a matter of days.
I haven’t even discussed the huge amount of public monies being spent on raids such as this, I”ll leave that for another time, but it would be interesting to discover how much of tax payer’s dollars are being spent versus the outcome of these charges. I’m sure even at $2000 maximum fine, the costs greatly outweigh the end resulting fine revenue generation.
So, should you be worried about being caught in a gaming house? Well…yes and no. The chances of being charged and convicted, even for repeat offenders, is incredibly low. You will just get a small fine at most, or community service, and often, especially if its your first offense, it won’t even show up on your record. HOWEVER…if your job/career is dependant on you being bondable, with a clean record, then it COULD cost you your job. Again though, I stress the word could…totally depends on your level of bondability and your career’s prerequiste for staying on the right side of the law, as well as your employer’s discretion, but its a risk you take nonetheless.
And that could be the most -EV consideration you will have to make.
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